For What It's Worth

For What It's Worth

Wednesday, December 31, 2014

My New Years {non} Resolution - One Word

I don’t do resolutions. They kind of feel too concrete to me if that makes sense. More like a check list or test that I either pass or fail.

Last year I stumbled onto something a little different over at one of my favorite blogs Tales of Whimsy. She chooses a word or phrase to focus on for the year. For example, instead of picking – lose 10 pounds – you might choose the word move.

I didn’t come up with a word until February. I kept trying to come up with THE perfect word that was life changing. Then one day I laughed and my husband looked at me weird. He told me I didn’t laugh that much. I didn’t laugh much?? I didn’t know that. So I had my word. LAUGH. It felt weird and rusty to force myself to laugh out loud at first. But then it became natural and now I laugh so much he said in passing recently that I’m always laughing. So yay! Success. But more importantly it changed how I look at things and how I feel.

It sounds cliché but just the simple act of laughing helped me approach my day more positively. It helped me shake off something that might have ruined my day otherwise. Because of that one little word I did things unrelated directly to the act of laughing just because I felt happy. I got back into gardening – my obsessive hobby before reading. I lightened up while reading (I didn’t pick everything apart). I got less judgmental. In short picking a word instead of a resolution works for me.


So now to pick a word for 2015.

DISCONNECT.

From the internet negativity, from hype, from the pressure to look, act, be a certain way, from gossip.

I don't mean literally because I’m obviously going to be online. I blog. I love Twitter. But 2014 taught me that the internet can be a very overwhelming place for ones psyche.

Something changed where instead of connecting and making friends – we decided to judge and correct each other. We flit from event to event so we’re constantly in hype mode. And it just overwhelms me and I need to step back from it.

I am in general, a very chill person. But nothing can get me wound up more than a big Twitter hashtag meltdown. I think it’s important to stand up for what’s right and call people on their bullshit. I LOVE debating and arguing a point. Respectfully. It’s increasingly clear that internet is not the place to do that. There’s that line you walk – where you spend your days living to be right or you spend your days living. I want to do the latter.

I read in a Dear Ann/Abby (can't remember which one) advice column once - You can't change other people. You can only change your reaction to them. So that's what I'm doing this year. Disconnecting from the negativity and changing my reaction.

So there’s my whole – you didn’t ask but I told you anyway – reason for my 2015 word choice. lol

How about you guys? Do you do resolutions? Have you kept them?

And HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Here are a few posts about choosing a word or theme instead of a resolution. Some people pick a phrase or a new word for every month.

My One Word
Huffpo - Choose a Simple Theme

30 comments:

  1. I love, love this. And I'm going to try it. I don't have a word yet, but I'm inspired by "laugh" and "disconnect." I think that is very astute...the internet is a place where people live to be right...and sometimes in real life too. I'm not into that. I love discussions too, but I don't necessarily think I'm right. I was talking to someone the other day and realized that we are not going to teach anyone appropriate behavior.

    I don't really do resolutions either. I always think, "Why don't you just start today?"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. At first it was all these people with common interests coming together and being exciting. Then jealousies worked their way in and now we seem to have broken down into groups and it makes me sad. But that's what it is now and I just need to readjust how I interact and how much negativity I allow in.

      I read this really great post http://dinasilver.blogspot.com/2013/05/writers-are-you-living-in-vacuum.html?m=1 - and I love how it points out that what seems SO important to us isn't even a blip on someone else's radar.

      Some things are worth fighting for and standing up against but most of what's happening now is just finger pointing and trying to prove a point to someone who's never going to listen.

      I like the word concept because it's more of a way of living than a specific goal. i don't do well with goals. They make me panicky. lol

      Delete
  2. Awesome resolution.

    Even if I am way too much online ;) it's also a way for me to relax

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Like I said - I won't stay offline. I love twitter WAY too much lol but I'm going to be more selective about who I follow and what I engage in. My zip/block button got quite the work out the past few months.

      Delete
  3. I love this post so much!

    I hope you are able to disconnect, the internet can be a terrible place because of the anonymity of it all (reading the comments section of a news article always prove that). Stay chill Karen, we need more people like you!

    I'm trying to think of a word as well now...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm glad you liked it!

      I never read comments lol But I think I'm at the point where I can't read articles anymore either - or watch TV lol

      Delete
  4. This is such a great idea. I like that Laugh worked so well for you this year, and I think Disconnect is a nice word for 2015. I don't usually get caught up in too much of the online drama, but there's plenty of it in my real life...it's important to remember to just do what you love and forget the rest sometimes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks. Laugh was such a simple word and I kind of felt like it wasn't even a real thing - that I should pick something more *important* but sometimes simple is better.

      Delete
  5. I just did a post on my blog about my reading and blogging resolutions for 2015 and in that case I like having the resolutions because I can fall back on my list and remind myself what I wanted to improve on; and when it comes to blogging in general I find lists and schedules immensely helpful because I'm incredibly forgetful. But, I had been pondering whether or not I wanted to actually set up similar resolutions for the rest of my life and it just felt really intimidating. I love the idea of just choosing a single word to focus on, laugh and disconnect both feel really powerful and like excellent choices to me especially. I think that instead of doing resolutions for the rest of my life I'm going to follow your example. It just feels right. Thank you for sharing this!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm really weird. I don't do well with goals or lists or begin super organized. It freaks me out and I feel pressured. lol

      I do keep post-it notes and a notebook by the computer but it's more for jotting down notes. I wish I could be more organized like that but for some reason it doesn't work for me.

      Delete
  6. Perfect way of doing resolutions. I miss all the meltdowns because I haven't been on twitter that much. As for social media... I don't do much on it. So I do feel like I miss out on things, but sometimes... that is a good thing. ;) Sorry Martha Stewart... I totally stole that. :D Happy New Year!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am realizing you don't miss out on much overall. lol I do like the interactions but I need to steer clear of hype/drama. I don't even mean negativity necessarily. Just that intensity that makes it seem like something is SUPER important when really it's not that big of a deal.

      Delete
  7. I love the idea of a word -- I did blog resolutions but maybe for my personal resolutions I'll pick a word.

    And yes, one of my blog resolutions is to be on Twitter for a purpose -- to say hi to people etc but not to just hang out there and get dragged into drama. It's funny how the internet can connect, but also divide. Everyone on social media is talking but few people seem to be listening. It was an accident that I limited my time on social media this year, but I definitely think that cutting back made me happier and more focused on real life.
    Jen @ YA Romantics

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I found that I can zip hashtags as well at people and that has saved my sanity!

      Everyone thinks it's the trolls and anons that are bad but I can easily ignore them for some reason. It's the gang mentality that bothers me. Even if I agree. As I saw in an article the other day - the outrage cycle. I'm just over it.

      Delete
  8. That is such a neat way to look at it. Mine will be consistancy.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Love this idea! If I had to pick a word, I think it would be Reconnect. I've sort of lost touch with the blogosphere lately and I miss it, so I'm hoping to reconnect with my old friends and hopefully make some new ones! Although I'm tempted by your word last year, as who couldn't use more laughter in their life? Here's to a great 2015!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've been trying to reconnect with the blogging world too. Last year was tough for me and I was thinking of throwing in the towel but this year I'm planning on shutting out the negativity and seeking out people with a positive influence.

      I keep my word on a post-it note on my desk and I still have LAUGH to remind me.

      Delete
  10. This is great. My word is SEE. See those around me clearer. See those who need an extra hand. See those that need a friend. See without negativity.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I love the idea of picking a word and I love the word you picked. I recently changed careers and last year was my first year teaching. Being a first year teacher I had a lot less idle time and was hardly on Facebook or Twitter. I had the summer off and I spent a lot of time on Facebook and Twitter. Once the school year started I realized that I was actually glad to be back at work because I couldn't be bothered following someone else's drama or negativity when I was so busy. My plan this summer is to limit myself on the internet (and fix more things around the house)!

    You make a good point about debating on the internet. I love a good debate, but the internet ones can turn on a dime and become negative and harassing. I think people forget that just because they can't see the person they are talking to doesn't mean that there isn't a person behind what's being said.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There jus doesn't seem to room for a middle ground on there.

      There's so much miscommunication and misunderstanding too. Things don't always come across as intended and it's hard to stuff it back in the box once the furor has taken over.

      Delete
  12. Love it! It's so easy to get caught up with everything that "disconnect" is an excellent word. Shut down the negative. I like both "focus" and "fun" for me, I think, as I need more of both in my life. Happy New Year!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah - it's more figurative than literal.

      I've already had to put into action this year lol

      I love your words!

      Delete
  13. Yay!!!! Thank you SO much for the shout out. I've been working on my word for the year post.

    And yayy!!!! That you started it last year and it really made a difference. I love it!!!

    Laugh is so simple and beautiful and infectious.

    Disconnect is pretty fantastic. I couldn't agree more. I started disconnecting a bit more last year when I found out I was pregnant. I always knew that if another baby came I would have to pull away from the net more. I gotta say, it's been sorta lovely. So freeing.

    You'll have to pop by soon to see my word.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are very welcome! It worked so well for me last year.

      Delete
  14. Awww, such an awesome post, Karen!! I love both your 2014 and 2015 words.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I just read an author who does this same thing. That's great you found something that works for you and keeps you moving forward. I would be a total train wreck with this type. I need lists and concrete. lol I lose time easily if I don't have it marked out and a list to go by. I don't make resolutions really but more goals to work towards that I'm okay if they spread into the following year or don't end up happening. No massive life changing I will not do XYZ again but just little goals that'll help me overall and are more realistic.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think I'm in the minority. I don't know anyone who does WORSE with goals and lists lol I kind of wish I could be more like you guys!

      My blog *planner* consists of a computer post it note and a simple monthly calendar.

      I think what I want has changed too. I want a very laid back blog - no schedules or pressure.

      It's great that you don't feel that it's a fail if you don't do every single thing on your list. Very healthy attitude about the whole thing! I never got that feeling myself - more pressure and panic lol

      Delete