For What It's Worth

Friday, January 1, 2016

Things I’ve learned watching Hallmark Christmas movies…




I’m a hardcore Hallmark Christmas movie binge watcher. I’ve been known to watch 10+ hours a day if I have the opportunity. I’ve seen every movie at least twice – sometimes a dozen times. So I’ve learned a few things over the years that I’d like to share. I’m poking fun but it’s all out of love…




#1 ~ The city is an awful, horrible place filled with rude people ready to sell their souls for money. No one is happy. There are no good relationships in the city. If you choose the city then say goodbye to family and happiness! 


#2 ~ Related to #1 - Women are not allowed to have a “city job” and be happy. If you want to get married (& every Hallmark heroine does!) you need to move to small town America and take a job similar to your original dream but on a much smaller scale. 

For example – If you were a high powered event planner for a top corporation – you might want to scale back a bit and plan a cookie sale to benefit the local school children or the elderly. 

Top surgeon in the country? That will NOT make you happy. Try opening a small practice in your old home town. 

#3 ~ Listen to the animals and children! Within 5 minutes they will know who your true love is. They try to tell you over and over again by running away and showing up on said true loves doorstep. But do you listen?? Nooooo. Instead we waste two hours watching you bumble along – resisting what your kitty has been trying to tell you all along. 


#4 ~ Be friends with your elderly/widowed neighbors! Sure it’s the right thing to do but you never know if they have a hidden art collection that’s worth millions or thousands of dollars stashed in their cookie jar which of course they leave to you because you were the only one nice enough to visit. 

Since this is a Hallmark movie you won’t go hog wild buying things for yourself – you will donate all the money to save the town. From the evil city people of course!

#5 ~ You can find your true love and get married after only just meeting and seeing each other a total of maybe 3 times and after one kiss. What could go wrong???

***

Do you watch Hallmark movies? If so which one is your favorite? What are your favorite cliches/tropes from them?

I think this years favorite for me was Christmas Land. Although I usually leave logic and irritation for tropes at the door - the one that made me kind of stabby this year was Family for Christmas. They literally took her family away for wanting a career. lol

I still have a few to watch that I DVR’d so we’ll see if my choice changes at all. But the cheesiest of them all – we’re talking giant cheese wheel here – is A Christmas with Holly – and I adore it! It gets me every time. So maybe I’m not a grinch after all.

* WARNING - If you don NOT life cliffhanger endings and long waits for sequels. DO NOT watch Karen Kingsbury's The Bridge. This is a two part movie and part 2 will not be on until December 2016. I guess if you can handle that go for it but I am beyond peeved since I didn't know beforehand. (Had to do a google search to find out where the heck the rest of the movie was...) Not cool Hallmark. Not cool.

***

But wait there’s more! Hallmark’s Winterfest 2016 is coming for the month of January!

21 comments:

  1. Winterfest!!!!!!

    HAHA! And yes city=bad. Great job =bad. Small town=good Cookies=good Marry after 1 week =perfect :D

    My favs are always the royal ones

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    1. They have a lot more of the Royal movies. I like them but I always think the guy is an indecisive wimp lol

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  2. haha these are great and so true! I really do enjoy a good Hallmark Christmas film; pretty much the only Hallmark films I watch. My mom loves them too.

    -Lauren

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    1. They're starting to make them for every season - January, then Valentine's and I think June - wedding season lol

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  3. This post is hilarious and so true. But what is better around the holidays than a movie about a small town, some cute kids and animals, plus COOKIES :)
    PS That cliffhanger is just not right!! Against the rules!

    Jen @ YA Romantics

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  4. I love this post! I didn't get to watch all of my DVR'd movies before the move but Christmas Land will be at the top of my list for next year.

    Aww I like Christmas with Holly.
    *whispers* Victoria

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    1. I STILL have a few more left to watch. I couldn't keep up!

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  5. Used to watch these all the time with my aunt

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    1. They're comforting even with all the flaws.

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  6. Haha this is great! I don't really watch Hallmark movies anymore, but I used to, especially around Christmas time when I was really feeling the warm fuzzies. But seriously, all my memories of them seem to involves people going back to their small home town. Odd. Anyway, if you'll excuse me, I have some elderly neighbors to go make friends with...

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    1. I have another Hallmark movie like channel called PixL and they make the same type of movies but with a modern twist. The women are allowed to have careers IN THE CITY lol and there's more diversity.

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  7. Hahaha, I can't quite remember when I last watched a movie like that :))) I usually just read stuff like this instead. Better fix that this month as now I'm in the mood!

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    1. I fall down the movie rabbit hole during the holidays lol

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  8. Hahahaha I am an avd hallmark movie fan as well and holy cow these are all so true xD These movies appear to be very anti-feminist, huh? :p

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    1. I also watch PixL - they have the same type of movies but are more modern which is soooo nice!

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  9. I actually just watched my first hallmark movie this year (well like...first five hallmark movies) and I couldn't help but notice how "big city jobs" always equal bad. You gotta go to the country and meet a nice cowboy who you initially hate but then fall in love with.

    And older people ALWAYS have a secret. ALWAYS.

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  10. I seriously watch them all- my absolute favorite is A Season for Miracles- I even own that shiz on dvd. I dvred a bunch too, because sometimes I was watching one on the Hallmark Movie Channel, but a different on was on the regular Hallmark Channel... I probably needed an intervention.

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  11. Oh man. I haven't watched one in YEARS. I'm totally with the animals knowing though. I've always paid attention to them and if they like someone or not. If the pets aren't into a person I figure there's probably a good reason to avoid them :D

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  12. I AM ALL for Hallmark movies and just overall holiday movies in general! It really makes me sad that this year I didn't get to watch as many of them as I would have liked so it only makes me have to watch more for the next year. I hope you enjoyed ALLLL of your movies, Karen! <3 xoxo

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