I have an actual musing for My Monday Musing this week!
I have a couple of topics in mind (but already forgot one 😜 so we’ll see).
Discussion numero uno….
Does reading YA make you a better/more empathetic parent?
I read a few YA books last week that had mothers that were really hard on their daughters.
In The Poet X by Elizabeth Acevedo – Xiomara’s mother uses her religion to shame her physically blossoming daughter.
In There’s Something About Sweetie by Sandhya Moon, Sweetie's mom constantly criticizes Sweetie’s weight – outright telling her she’s not good enough for the boy who wants to date her, making her cover her body, commenting on her choices of food, despite Sweetie being confident, healthy and happy.
Both of these books broke my heart a little each time the mother would make another dig at their daughter and I thought these were great books for teens. What I really wished for though, was for parents to read them so they understand that even well meaning comments - coming from a parent - can hurt in a way that hurts so much more than from a stranger. And they also showed parents realizing the pain they were causing and being willing to try a new way of communicating.
Now, I’m not a parent, but I was a troubled teen, and I think that’s why I connect so much to teens in YA who feel like outcasts or disconnected. I remember that feeling so well and almost always see their side of things more than I relate to the parent in most books. It just hurts me to read when a parent hurts their child. Especially when it's out of love. And I think reading YA could add a new perspective - and for teens - maybe see where their parents are coming from. They aren't perfect either and it's usually out of a need to protect the child from life. Even if misguided.
*Note - I'm not talking about physical abuse here. More a judgy, controlling type of parent who thinks they're helping by *being honest* and *preparing kids for reality*.
So many adults/parents read YA now and it got me wondering if you think that reading YA makes you a better parent?
I have a lot of non-YA reading parent friends that are struggling with their teens and behave the way these book parents above did – maybe not to that extreme – but not understanding that teens do dumb things – even if you raised them with your values. So many of the things that come up aren't even on their radar. Whereas most of us have been reading YA for years - probably long before you became parents and have been exposed to all kinds of subject matter.
As we get further away from our own teenage years, we tend to expect teens to behave and act perfectly, not understanding that a.) they don’t have the hindsight we do and b.) we adults don’t exactly make great choices all the time either. lol
Of course, I understand that that you all are parents and you have to have rules, boundaries and discipline but do you think reading YA makes you understand where your kids are coming from better? Or help you know how to NOT react?
Reading, in general, has open my eyes to other experiences, especially of marginalized people, and has drastically changed my opinions and the way I interact with people and helped me empathize more.
I think this older generation is unique in our consumption of teen entertainment and I was curious reading YA has had the same effect for you – especially as it pertains to parenting.
