For What It's Worth

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Book Blogger Confessions #17–Blogger Relationships

 

Book Blogger Confessions is a meme that posts the 1st and 3rd Monday of every month, where book bloggers "confess" and vent about topics that are unique to us. Feel free to share, vent and offer solutions.

Just keep it respectful - no bashing authors or other bloggers! If you want to participate just grab our button and include it in your post with a link to either Midnyte Reader or For What It's Worth. We will be providing a linky at the end of our posts so people can "hop" to see all the participants answers.

Question:
Blogger relationships: Are there blogs you visit and comment on because you like their style, voice etc.(maybe you even converse with the blogger on Twitter & Facebook) but those comments are never reciprocated on your blog?. Do you get a bit offended or do you understand that they may be busy? Or do you comment just because you like a post not expecting anything in return?

All the time!

I have to be honest and say that I haven’t had a lot of time to comment lately so I save those comments for posts that I enjoy. Whether or not they reciprocate doesn’t matter to me. I am commenting because I enjoyed what the blogger had to say, not because I’m looking for something in return.

I also have quite a few Twitter friends that I talk to ALL the time, yet I rarely – if ever – visit their blog. Mostly because we have different reading tastes so it’s not anything personal. They don’t visit mine either so it’s all good :-)

However, here is something that bugs me. Bloggers who complain about not getting comments on their posts, mostly via Twitter. Not the actual complaint - I can understand how the lack of comment love can get you down BUT if I do take the time to hear your cry for comments and visit your blog & comment then yeah – I would like you to return the favor and comment back. Is that petty??

This has been such a crazy year in blogging with outbursts, bad behavior and hurt feelings. I think we’re all a little burned out and over sensitive these days. I know I don’t have time to comment on everyone’s post like I used to and I assume that’s the case for others as well. No offense taken.

Having said that – I LOVE to receive comments and love to leave them when I have time. Why blog if you can’t have a conversation or meet other people… right? This post is also making me feel guilty for not leaving enough comments lately. *shame*

How do you feel about this? Does it bother you to leave dozens of comments and they don’t return the love?

Read a previous Book Blogger Confessions where we discussed encouraging comments.

Next Book Blogger Confessions – October 1st: Blogger envy. EEP! That should be a good one. Get the full topic schedule right here!

27 comments:

  1. Same with me! I have a lot of Twitter pals that we don't really visit each other's blogs...I do every once in a while, but our reading tastes are so different that we don't usually visit each other. But we may e-mail each other, get each other books at signings etc.

    I don't think you're being petty at all regarding how you feel about others wanting comments on their own blog yet don't visit yours. That's a little...one sided.

    I think you bring up a very good point about this having been a difficult year in blogging and people may be oversensitive. It seems like book blogging is going through a kind of metamorphosis, we are all discovering what it is and what it is not or what it should be and what it should not be and we are doing it together.

    I've been feeling guilty about not leaving as many comments as I used to either. It's not that I don't want to...it's just about time constraints.

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    1. I think we're all really busy lately. We can barely get our own posts up.

      I also agree about the metamorphosis in blogging. It will interesting to see what next year brings. I honestly think it's going to get better.

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  2. That's a tough one. There are some blogs that I frequently visit because I love their voice, but rarely receive a visit in return. While I love receiving comments and do my best to return the favor (if I can find their blog), I don't think I've ever stopped following someone because they never comment back. Sometimes it can be a little discouraging, but people have lives and are busy, so you can't take it personally.

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    1. I follow quite a few bloggers that have never commented back but I also know that they don't read the type of books that I review so that's fine. I wouldn't want an obligation comment lol

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  3. YES! The Twitter thing. I talk to so many people on there and don't often visit their blog because of reading tastes, etc.

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    1. Twitter is becoming the best way for me to find reviews these days. I may not follow all the blogs but the variety is nice.

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  4. I have gotten over my issues with comments.

    I dislike twitter people asking for comments, I get that we are busy. But if its a topic I will comment.

    This year has been drama llama between authors, bloggers, and such not. I think blogging has changed in the past 5 years, and its evident with giveaways, and comments. There is less now.

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    1. As i said earlier to Pam, I think we're in for a change next year. less drama. I think people are sick of it.

      The begging for comments is relatively new from hat I can tell. i don't mind you alerting me to a post that isn't getting enough love but most of the time they aren't commenting either.

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  5. Great discussion question -- thank you. :) I've been able to keep out of the drama, thankfully --- but I do need to get better about commenting, and commenting back (so this week's question was a good reminder for me).

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    1. We're all so busy these days! It's hard to keep up. I used to devote hours per day to it but I just can't keep that pace up.

      I just do my best so I understand if other people don't have the time either.

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  6. I'm one of those people who feel like comments = page views. I try very hard to get away from that mind set, because I know that even I don't comment all the time. I try to comment when I have something real to say and not just "great review" or "great interview." Sometimes I feel like those aren't real enough.

    I also understand that bloggers have lives too. I mean, I have a life, so surely everyone else does too. Lol. I am thankful for the comments I do receive and I try very hard to reciprocate.

    I love this discussion today.

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    1. It's also weird when you get a lot of page views but no comments. You wonder what went wrong but after talking to a lot of people I've seen that their self conscious about leaving a "dumb" comment or not having enough to say.

      That's too bad because I love the conversations.

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  7. Great point about Twitter - on both fronts. I love that it's a big melting pot of all kinds of bloggers and there's always someone to talk bookish or non-bookish with. On the flip side I also get irritated by people complaining about lack of comments - if the post just didn't appeal to people, that's life.

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    1. Yup. I think if you're really not getting any comments over a period of time then it's your content or maybe you aren't putting yourself out there either. People want to get to know the blogger imo.

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  8. LOL. I am of two minds on this. One the one hand, I try hard not to be all judge-y because I am certainly far from perfect myself. The person could have a very good reason for not having time to reciprocate.

    On the other, I agree with you -- once in a while I see those tweets begging for comments and in many cases I know I have left prior comments on that blog and the blogger has not responded in any way. If a blogger never responds to comments, never comments back, or tweets back, or anything, then that's fine, but I will probably put my comment energy elsewhere.

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    1. Yes, I only have so much comment energy! lol I love that :-)

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    2. I pretty much agree with Jen. I do my best with commenting but completely understand how busy people are. I do not expect lots of comments back. But if it is a blog that I visit and comment often and never get a response back ever, then I don't put in as much effort to comment there.

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  9. The crying over comments, yeah, I have seen that, and I did comment then, but did I get one back? Nope

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    1. Same here so I don't bother anymore. Now I know why they didn't get any comments :-)

      i still like to comment on newbies that maybe haven't found their audience yet.

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  10. I just tweet my posts... Is that begging? Lol..

    What I do mostly is I tweet something about being in a commenting mood and asking people to send me THEIR posts so I can comment on them

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    1. I don't consider that begging at all! You have to let people know what's going on lol

      I LOVE when people leave links (even though I have no idea how to do it myself O_O)

      There have been tweets lately asking for comments because they weren't getting any - that's what I was talking about. When I did go and comment, they never commented back.

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  11. I'm guilty of the twitter thing myself. It's just so accessible and a lot more convenient to chat about books and other things we love on Twitter! And I totally understand being busy. GUILTY!! Also, I'm on the same page with you about getting comments back. I don't feel bad, I just appreciate anyone who takes the time to visit and comment. :) Great post, Karen!!

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    1. I love talking about reading and tweeting post links on twitter - what I'm talking about is complaining about a lack of comments on your blog but then not returning them. I've been seeing it a lot lately.

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  12. I love having conversations on Twitter. It is so very addictive. I completely understand the time thing. Some days I just can't do everything I would like. Blogging isn't as simple as it at first appears.

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  13. omg the complaining on Twitter drives me nuts too, especially since they're people I've never ever seen comment anywhere. I mean, I totally get it, I get super bummed when I don't really get comments either but I do try to leave thoughtful comments on others. When I go through my Google Reader, I open a bunch of tabs up and start commenting. Anna from Literary Exploration said her rule is if she comments three times and they don't bother to return the favour, she's going to stop. I think that's a good rule of thumb! I know bloggers are crazy busy but I don't think leaving one comment is so hard to ask. There are definitely people I'm friends with on Twitter though where we don't visit each other's blogs but we do enjoy talking to each other. It makes it easier to communicate and get to know people quickly, as I know commenting can be time consuming.

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  14. This is a great topic. I've never really put much thought into whether or not someone comments back ie: leaves a comment on my blog because I left a comment on their blog. I leave comments here and there and don't expect anyone to reciprocate. Time is short and I know a good portion of my readers read my blog via their feed readers or via email. I'm just glad they read. :)

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